The prodigal son returns.
notacult.com
Saturday, November 30, 2013
Friday, November 29, 2013
Wednesday, November 27, 2013
Wednesday, November 20, 2013
BronsHolm Syndrome
When someone has you held hostage, eventually you feel for the hostage takers.
To this end, <Red Dawn> has engaged a <Charles Bronson> division within their ranks. Our members are encouraged to suck less and try to help <Red Dawn> PvP when they feel ready and up to it; you may tag between guilds as you see fit. Really. It's fine. No one gives a flip -- see the >>Guild Charter<< if you have any questions.
Below is an approximation of <Charles Bronson>'s entry into the Red 99 server, as explained by Peter Horton in the Hit Cult Classic, Children of the Corn I: Corning Day
Below are some instructions from GM Floozy that will help you build finger strength for PVP.
Here, <Red Dawn>'s connection to Communism is clarified or made incomprehensible depending on what you're smoking.
To this end, <Red Dawn> has engaged a <Charles Bronson> division within their ranks. Our members are encouraged to suck less and try to help <Red Dawn> PvP when they feel ready and up to it; you may tag between guilds as you see fit. Really. It's fine. No one gives a flip -- see the >>Guild Charter<< if you have any questions.
Below is an approximation of <Charles Bronson>'s entry into the Red 99 server, as explained by Peter Horton in the Hit Cult Classic, Children of the Corn I: Corning Day
Below are some instructions from GM Floozy that will help you build finger strength for PVP.
Here, <Red Dawn>'s connection to Communism is clarified or made incomprehensible depending on what you're smoking.
Saturday, November 16, 2013
#1 UNDEFEATED PvP CHAMPS ON RED - RETIRED
Hey all!
http://www.project1999.org/forums/showthread.php?t=123795
After fucking up The Purple Server, everyone has accomplished their goals of turning REDBLUE into our bitch. <Red Dawn> was a fucking blue joke and we raped them. Our enemies were crushed like roaches.
It is with light hearts that we retire as active PvP champs, and now will merge and disperse into the ether of other guilds and sold accounts.
14 years was a good run, and it ended with a bang - but its time to take Bronson's message of love to the masses of different games.
There is nothing you can do to stop it.
Here are all the guilds we fucked up without barely trying. Get real guys.
Friday, November 15, 2013
Could it be?
Is it <Charles Bronson> you're looking for?
We don't know. Only you know in your heart. If you want to see that YT, you know what to do.
WELCOME THREE NEWEST MEMBERS!
Geomance, Farson, and Kugbok have decided to join the ranks of the server's fastest growing legitimate PvP guild! Want to raid content? GO TO BLUE.
It is with heavy heart that we report, player Gaffin / Veteran / Vari / Bouncer 2.0 has had a total meltdown and gotten kicked out of <Red Dawn> , tried to scam trades, then got banned on all his accounts. Our thoughts and prayers go out to those in <Red Dawn> who thought there were players not in <Azrael> or <Nihilum> that are raid worthy! The truth hurts but it is beautiful.
Now go get your fuckin' shinebox
We don't know. Only you know in your heart. If you want to see that YT, you know what to do.
WELCOME THREE NEWEST MEMBERS!
Geomance, Farson, and Kugbok have decided to join the ranks of the server's fastest growing legitimate PvP guild! Want to raid content? GO TO BLUE.
It is with heavy heart that we report, player Gaffin / Veteran / Vari / Bouncer 2.0 has had a total meltdown and gotten kicked out of <Red Dawn> , tried to scam trades, then got banned on all his accounts. Our thoughts and prayers go out to those in <Red Dawn> who thought there were players not in <Azrael> or <Nihilum> that are raid worthy! The truth hurts but it is beautiful.
Now go get your fuckin' shinebox
Sunday, November 10, 2013
Saturday, November 9, 2013
Operation: Green Day
WELCOME BACK GM FLOOZY!!
putting in work Bronson style
The new version sucks ass and we refuse to believe any guild who is serious about EQ could be called <Red Dawn>. Get a real name and quit being communists.
Friday, November 8, 2013
Thursday, November 7, 2013
Tuesday, November 5, 2013
The air grows colder...
We here at Bronson Co. are pleased to announce the newest members Triquetra and Barbiie.
With the assassination of Bronson's Most Wanted list members memi, swaregin, and candyman, the hunt continues for the other crazed scum of Norrath still left roaming our fair lands and cities. If you see these list members, pray consider them of foul odour and a mimicry of the wholesome person -- slay them on sight.
Below is what these players sound like.
With the assassination of Bronson's Most Wanted list members memi, swaregin, and candyman, the hunt continues for the other crazed scum of Norrath still left roaming our fair lands and cities. If you see these list members, pray consider them of foul odour and a mimicry of the wholesome person -- slay them on sight.
Below is what these players sound like.
Tuesday, October 29, 2013
Monday, October 28, 2013
Welcome Bronsonites!
Welcome Corsava, sexy Shaman of the North!
Join us on the p99 mumble:
mumble.project1999.org:default
Our shadowknight army is awakening...
Saturday, October 26, 2013
A night to remember
Way to go everyone! A great night of pvp and kittens was had by all. If you would like to be killed by Charles Bronson, please hold!
WELCOME NEW MEMBER RHUOBHE, NIGERIAN MAELSTROM
Victor Defeated
Gradner Mindcase
Hurb Dropshadow
Floozy Skar
Hurb Bryliant
Hurb Swaregin
Dangergirl Brewtality
Wednesday, October 23, 2013
Go Team!
Congrats to newest asian member Perff for his rice cooking skills and slam hammer style of pvp that is crushing the competition!
Today saw the rise of a new era, with <Charles Bronson> expanding patrols to Karnors, OT, City of Mist, Lower Guk, South Ro, and Dreadlands.
Congrats to No One for the Karnors zone hopping festival! Minus Big Perff on his kill! Thanks again to Irah for logging right before PVP HAPPENED.
Congrats new members! ..and [Gravitas] KOS!
While you are probably all spies and meat cats, newest member Vadren is a backstabbing lguk aficionado who really begs the question, with skills like that, does it matter???
Somehow in between being killed by Thraak and wandering druids, Floozy and Gradner have found a new friend:
Oh, dont worry friend! We know all about your desire to see the hunt begin again!
http://en.memory-alpha.org/wiki/Masaka
Now, back to Vadren. He came like a thug angel in the ghetto of lower guk, expertly breaking spawn after spawn, and retrieving a Mask of Deception for lil' Gradner! congrats! mad raid loots!
Somehow in between being killed by Thraak and wandering druids, Floozy and Gradner have found a new friend:
Oh, dont worry friend! We know all about your desire to see the hunt begin again!
http://en.memory-alpha.org/wiki/Masaka
Now, back to Vadren. He came like a thug angel in the ghetto of lower guk, expertly breaking spawn after spawn, and retrieving a Mask of Deception for lil' Gradner! congrats! mad raid loots!
Tuesday, October 22, 2013
p99 Leaderboard Scandal
Hey Norrathians!
As you recently found out, the Nihilum leaderboard is rigged. It turns out Charles Bronson is in the Number One slots across the board and were hard coded out by a mexican in Florida. This is not news, as most of you know this already.
In response to this threat to all nations of the world, the <Nurga Nuke Squad> will be formed of Elite Charles Bronson members who have proven their ganking worth in the pvp world of pvpness (in the world).
Members of this squad will not be allowed to buy or mem Gate, they will not be allowed to mem more than two spells at any given time (one DD and one misc), and they must all be iksar shaman. Gear is not allowed, nor is Food or Drink purchases. Beneficial spells are not allowed to be purchased and buffs are illegal.
As you recently found out, the Nihilum leaderboard is rigged. It turns out Charles Bronson is in the Number One slots across the board and were hard coded out by a mexican in Florida. This is not news, as most of you know this already.
In response to this threat to all nations of the world, the <Nurga Nuke Squad> will be formed of Elite Charles Bronson members who have proven their ganking worth in the pvp world of pvpness (in the world).
Members of this squad will not be allowed to buy or mem Gate, they will not be allowed to mem more than two spells at any given time (one DD and one misc), and they must all be iksar shaman. Gear is not allowed, nor is Food or Drink purchases. Beneficial spells are not allowed to be purchased and buffs are illegal.
Monday, October 14, 2013
Thraak, Enemy of the State of Bronson
This guy....
Victor Defeated Defeated Guild Points Zone Date
Thraak Floozy Charles Bronson 3 Innothule Swamp 10/15/2013 12:14:25 AM
Thraak Gradner Charles Bronson 1 Innothule Swamp 10/15/2013 12:11:33 AM
Thraak Gradner Charles Bronson 2 Innothule Swamp 10/14/2013 11:17:34 PM
Thraak Celena Charles Bronson 3 Southern Desert of Ro 10/14/2013 8:35:52 PM
Thraak Gradner Charles Bronson 3 Castle Mistmoore 10/13/2013 3:52:26 AM
Thraak Hurb Charles Bronson 2 Rivervale 10/10/2013 8:48:25 PM
Thraak Hurb Charles Bronson 3 Northern Plains of Karana 10/7/2013 8:03:17 PM
...is taking the work of Meat Cats everywhere.
Thraak your instant death nuke will not escape the justice of Charles Bronson. Just... give us a sec... sit right over there.
have a seat. right over there.
Victor Defeated Defeated Guild Points Zone Date
Thraak Floozy Charles Bronson 3 Innothule Swamp 10/15/2013 12:14:25 AM
Thraak Gradner Charles Bronson 1 Innothule Swamp 10/15/2013 12:11:33 AM
Thraak Gradner Charles Bronson 2 Innothule Swamp 10/14/2013 11:17:34 PM
Thraak Celena Charles Bronson 3 Southern Desert of Ro 10/14/2013 8:35:52 PM
Thraak Gradner Charles Bronson 3 Castle Mistmoore 10/13/2013 3:52:26 AM
Thraak Hurb Charles Bronson 2 Rivervale 10/10/2013 8:48:25 PM
Thraak Hurb Charles Bronson 3 Northern Plains of Karana 10/7/2013 8:03:17 PM
...is taking the work of Meat Cats everywhere.
Thraak your instant death nuke will not escape the justice of Charles Bronson. Just... give us a sec... sit right over there.
have a seat. right over there.
Best Guild on Project1999.org!
All Hail, Lord of Fucks!
The recent "Best Guild" poll was completed and <Charles Bronson> was nominated MOST VALUABLE PVP GUILD and MOST LIKELY TO KILL EVERYONE.
Please, if you see any cats made of meat, don't be scared.
thanks for Floozy, Celena, Gradner, Irah, and of course, BIG HURB!
The recent "Best Guild" poll was completed and <Charles Bronson> was nominated MOST VALUABLE PVP GUILD and MOST LIKELY TO KILL EVERYONE.
Please, if you see any cats made of meat, don't be scared.
thanks for Floozy, Celena, Gradner, Irah, and of course, BIG HURB!
Friday, October 11, 2013
2 levels, 1 kite
Congrats to our very own Gradner for swarm kiting like a mad man and bringing our wolf pack into full review. You will now taste the flavor of song, the discipline of clarity, the force of shock, and the giddyness of Hurb.
Our Alliance with Neriak Stip Club was tentative and is now collapsed. Talks are in the works at UN headquarters with Chairman Ban Ki Moon to try and sort this out.
Please remember as you enter into a newly patched, non trak-tooth era, that kindness kills, Portahoe is a slut, and no one likes a petitioner.
Our Alliance with Neriak Stip Club was tentative and is now collapsed. Talks are in the works at UN headquarters with Chairman Ban Ki Moon to try and sort this out.
Please remember as you enter into a newly patched, non trak-tooth era, that kindness kills, Portahoe is a slut, and no one likes a petitioner.
Thursday, October 10, 2013
Charter Rules... coming soon
Well, officially the only rule in Charles Bronson is that you are Nothing and Charles Bronson is Everything.
This rule, however, will need some additional rules to guide our members.
The following have been suggested
1) Make sure all group members are present and not ordering chinese or smoking angeldust before you pull.
2) Keep gate memmed at all times and know that scrubs B pluggin.
3) Port people to toxxulia whenever possible, when they are melee class.
4) Defend the Walls of Jericho
5) Level alts. You must have at least three active characters.
6) An enemies and KOS list will be implemented soon.
Thanks and have a Charles Bronson day, assholes!
This rule, however, will need some additional rules to guide our members.
The following have been suggested
1) Make sure all group members are present and not ordering chinese or smoking angeldust before you pull.
2) Keep gate memmed at all times and know that scrubs B pluggin.
3) Port people to toxxulia whenever possible, when they are melee class.
4) Defend the Walls of Jericho
5) Level alts. You must have at least three active characters.
6) An enemies and KOS list will be implemented soon.
Thanks and have a Charles Bronson day, assholes!
Monday, October 7, 2013
Growing Pains
Although originally an award winning championship level Quake guild, Charles Bronson was formed this time under the auspices of Charles Bronson's consciousness as he resides in the body of Chuck Norris, unable to break his facade, to combat the bitch ass nigs.
We level legit.
We don't buy gear, food, or water.
We rub your clit.
Listen to me spit.
Blackburrow in the earth
Dont have a fit
You may have noticed our kill/death ratio is adjusting as we find time to level up and slay our fellow Norrathians.
Floozy has been notified that his deaths, though manly and on the record, must be slowed to three per hour.
Victor ::::::Defeated ::Defeated Guild ::::::Zone :
Mindcase Floozy Charles Bronson Southern Plains of Karana 10/7/2013 2:27:17 PM
Mindcase Floozy Charles Bronson Southern Plains of Karana 10/7/2013 1:20:31 PM
Mindcase Floozy Charles Bronson Southern Plains of Karana 10/7/2013 11:57:00 AM
Mindcase Floozy Charles Bronson Southern Plains of Karana 10/7/2013 11:28:01 AM
Mindcase Floozy Charles Bronson Southern Plains of Karana 10/7/2013 10:56:56 AM
Do not panic. Keep Calm and Carry Wands.
We level legit.
We don't buy gear, food, or water.
We rub your clit.
Listen to me spit.
Blackburrow in the earth
Dont have a fit
You may have noticed our kill/death ratio is adjusting as we find time to level up and slay our fellow Norrathians.
Floozy has been notified that his deaths, though manly and on the record, must be slowed to three per hour.
Victor ::::::Defeated ::Defeated Guild ::::::Zone :
Mindcase Floozy Charles Bronson Southern Plains of Karana 10/7/2013 2:27:17 PM
Mindcase Floozy Charles Bronson Southern Plains of Karana 10/7/2013 1:20:31 PM
Mindcase Floozy Charles Bronson Southern Plains of Karana 10/7/2013 11:57:00 AM
Mindcase Floozy Charles Bronson Southern Plains of Karana 10/7/2013 11:28:01 AM
Mindcase Floozy Charles Bronson Southern Plains of Karana 10/7/2013 10:56:56 AM
Do not panic. Keep Calm and Carry Wands.
Sunday, October 6, 2013
Premiere Charles Bronson Themed Guild on RED99
Hey All,
You may have heard about this new guild in town, Charles Bronson.
While Charles Bronson doesn't like to brag, he has killed Chuck Norris and assumed his identity. The face was the easy part to copy ... the hard part is selling all that exercise equipment!
Late one autumn afternoon, Charles Bronson was thinking of all he has conquered and decided to conquer the last frontier: A Free Project for Everquest Player Versus Player server!
To date, Charles Bronson maintains a huge 2:1 kill ratio, killing all two people we have tried to kill.
(Sorry Vari and Marilyn!)
check
http://www.p99pvp.com for leaderboard stats today!
Guild Link
http://p99pvp.com/guilddetail.aspx?guild=Charles%20Bronson
You may have heard about this new guild in town, Charles Bronson.
While Charles Bronson doesn't like to brag, he has killed Chuck Norris and assumed his identity. The face was the easy part to copy ... the hard part is selling all that exercise equipment!
Late one autumn afternoon, Charles Bronson was thinking of all he has conquered and decided to conquer the last frontier: A Free Project for Everquest Player Versus Player server!
To date, Charles Bronson maintains a huge 2:1 kill ratio, killing all two people we have tried to kill.
(Sorry Vari and Marilyn!)
check
http://www.p99pvp.com for leaderboard stats today!
Guild Link
http://p99pvp.com/guilddetail.aspx?guild=Charles%20Bronson
Friday, October 4, 2013
MOST WANTED LIST
TOP TEN MOST WANTED
2. TEEKS - Rhuobhe's friend that we attacked oops
3. FISHBOX - Friend of Candyman/Slowfate and bard-like ranger
4. GLORY - more like PLUGGY
5. SLOWFATE - Wanted for Violating Honor Code of Bronson
6. TOGETHER - Server idiot
7.
8.
9.
10.
THREATS ELIMINATED
YOU
Raid Targets on Lock
OLD WORLD DRAGONS
Lord Nagafen- <Charles Bronson>
PLANE OF FEAR
Cazic Thule- <Charles Bronson>
PLANE OF HATE
Innoruuk- <Charles Bronson>
Maestro of Rancor - <Nihilum>
PLANE OF AIR
Bzzazzt <Charles Bronson>
Bazzzazzt <Charles Bronson>
Bizazzzt <Charles Bronson>
Bzzzt <Charles Bronson>
Bizzzzt <Charles Bronson>
Bazzt Zzzt <Charles Bronson>
The Storm Mistress <Charles Bronson>
Sister of the Spire <Charles Bronson>
The Gale Caller <Charles Bronson>
Protector of Sky <Charles Bronson>
Keeper of Souls <Charles Bronson>
The Spiroc Guardian <Charles Bronson>
The Spiroc Lord <Charles Bronson>
Noble Dojorn <Charles Bronson>
Master of Elements <Charles Bronson>
Overseer of Air <Charles Bronson>
the Hand of Veeshan <Charles Bronson>
Gorgalosk <Charles Bronson>
Eye of Veeshan <Charles Bronson>
KUNARK
Trakanon <Charles Bronson>
Chardok Royals <Charles Bronson>
Gorenaire <Charles Bronson>
Severilous <Charles Bronson>
Talendor <Charles Bronson>
Faydedar <Charles Bronson>
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